She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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