my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
honey bunches of taint.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
