Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
