I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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