Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize