4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
that's an acceptable place to lick
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize