Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
