It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
