Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
