He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
