You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
