I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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