i permit you to call me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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