so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
