Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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