It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
