Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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