I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
