How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
