Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
