After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
