Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize