his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
