Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
