Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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