is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
