Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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