i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize