she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will pee on everything he values.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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