dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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