It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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