I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
