it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
