Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
