I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
