You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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