I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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