Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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