would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My pussy is not your playground.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
