I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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