I must be too annoying 4 u.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
