Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
