Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Less talking, more tequila
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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