I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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