Cold hands, warm shart.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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