lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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