when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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