Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
