The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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