Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
