Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
