You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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