How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
