dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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