so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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