i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
