goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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