White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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