worst night to have a conscience
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
